Constellations

On her legs are my constellations
all my ways home

Maybe there was more than one way home

there is
              i know
                           only one home 

She is my home and my way home
How can that be?
I'm too lucky and I don't deserve it

I hope I don't have to endure her death

I read about a friend of mine recently
A public account of when 
the love of his life died a year to the day that they met
He sat with her ashes under constellations
Rubbed her on his nose
Put her in his mouth
Nothing worked
What saved him was an old woman
Also roaming under constellations
with the stardust of the love of her life
She kissed him and told him
That to love is all there is
That he must go forth and do love
Then she walked away as completely as she had come
He went and did what she said but it was rough
Turns out he had to go try and save an entire country on his own
Just to try and make sense of it
The great news is that he actually did it
Saved an entire country
But it didn't really help him
It was just the thing he had to do to get through
to the place where he could start dealing with it
Of course, she was the only reason he made it
Her spirit never left him

So back to me
I don't mind death
I just don't want her to die
It's about her
Not about death

Even though death could take her away
She will never leave me
So I want her body
To stay forever
Something to hold the memory
And to not lose my guide
My way home
My home